


Dead Hearts

by iCheat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Inferi, Nightmares, Old Writing, Pain, Sad, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 17:50:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iCheat/pseuds/iCheat
Summary: Brothers stand by each other, hold each other after nightmares, and protect each other. Still, it's hard when life becomes those nightmares. A one-shot about Regulus and Sirius.





	Dead Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really old piece inspired by the song Dead Hearts more specifically: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suGVvGQjzx0

The messy black dog padded across the ground happily, playing with the students with an overabundance of energy. He ran for sticks, chased birds and made the students laugh by splashing around in the lake. As the afternoon wore on students began to disappear back into the castle of Hogwarts, leaving the dog to his own devices.

The dog stuck his nose into the wind, becoming uncommonly serious. He padded across the ground, following the familiar scent to a young boy with black hair and grey eyes, his green and silver scarf fluttering in the slight breeze. He sat with his face in his hands, looking as though the world rested on his shoulders. The dog padded forward and nudged his shoulder causing the boy to look up in surprise.

He smiled at the dog despite his tear filled eyes. The dog whined.

“I’m fine,” the boy assured, “Mother wrote today. Bellatrix is engaged, did you know?”

The dog made a retching nose and the boy laughed at him. Then he sighed.

“What are you doing here Sirius?”

The dog cocked his head to the side before the large furry mass morphed into a slightly taller boy in a red and gold scarf.

“Making sure my brothers ok, obviously,” he said simply, sitting beside the younger boy, “How are you holding up Regulus? Honestly?”

“Honestly? Since you left it’s been becoming harder to tell the difference between reality and the nightmares.”

“You’re still having them?”

“As long as there’s a war on they keep getting closer to reality.”

“They won’t,” Sirius promised, looking up at the darkening sky. It was going to rain.

“How can you be sure of that?” Regulus asked, voice quiet and scared, a voice only for his brother to hear.

“Because I’m sure of you,” Sirius answered without hesitation, “You won’t let them become reality.”

“I’m not you, Sirius. I’m not that strong.”

“We all have our strengths.”

“I can’t run like you did.”

“You don’t need to run. You need to be true to who you are, Reg, just don’t let them change you.”

“I’ll try.”

“And you’ll succeed. It’s not in our nature to fail.”

The pair sat in comfortable silence for a moment, each contemplating the different paths that lay ahead of them.

“Do you promise they won’t be real?”

“…I promise you Reg, they’ll always be nightmares. Nothing more.”

Thunder cracked and Sirius stood up, offering his hand. The younger boy took it and was pulled into a fierce hug.

“As long as I live and breathe I’ll be sure of you. Not of what our mother wants, I’ll be sure of the baby brother I read stories to, the boy who came to me to tell me about his nightmares. I’ll always be sure of you Reg. Never doubt that.”

The quiet assurance showed weakness on both their parts and so went unacknowledged apart from a slight tightening in the hug before they parted.

“Don’t stay in the rain to long,” Regulus said quietly as he headed inside. Sirius merely smiled at him as his brother walked out of sight. He looked up at the cloudy sky, even as the rain began to fall, the freezing water soaking through his robes.

“Let him be ok,” he commanded the sky in a quiet voice, “He deserves so much better than this.”

* * *

Pain seared through Regulus’ arm and he screamed. He screamed for the loss of everything he loved. Sirius, friends, life. None of it mattered now. So he screamed. A scream filled with pain and loss. He longed to run to his brother, crying about this nightmare. But this nightmare was his reality. He screamed some more. His brother would be celebrating life with his friends and Regulus momentarily screamed at their happiness. Then screamed for wishing to cause them pain. The scream was all he had left.

No sound escaped him as he watched the mark burned into the skin of his arm. Dark and heavy. Marking him for life.

He made not a sound but screamed on in silence.

“Thank you my Lord,” he murmured finally, voice sure but emotionless, arm permanently labelled with the dark stain.

“You are one of us now,” he was congratulated by a cold voice, “Be proud and serve me well.”

“It is all I wish my Lord,” his emotionless voice came again. He bowed and accepted his dismissal, wandering down the hall with unwavering sureness. The screaming continued, as he knew it would for the rest of his life. Screaming at his loss. At everything. Yet he continued in his sure stride.

He was always sure of himself. Even if he had no idea who he was.

* * *

The poisoned seared its way down his throat and he saw flashes of green. He ignored it and took another drink, ignored the cruel laughter and desperate cries that soon joined the green flashed as he drank. The screaming returned. Locked away for so long it returned with a vengeance. New screams and old tortures. He vaguely heard someone telling him to drink, and vaguely did so. Though he screamed, sharp and clear. The clarity was unnerving. It washed over him, tainting him, reminding him. Scaring him.

There was no brother to run to. There was no one left. There was a job, one he wouldn’t be able to do. Not with this screaming.

He didn’t know himself.

He was scared.

He was alone.

But he was sure.

A sound escaped. The screams no longer accepting their confines broke through. Tears streamed down his face. He longed for the comforting arms of his brother. Longed to get away from the visions, caused by the burning in his throat, but real and clear, and all his fault.

That voice announced that there was nothing left. A gold locket flashed in front of his face.

“Water,” he begged. It was worse than the screams. So much was lost in that one pleading word. Suddenly hands grabbed at him. That voice yelled. It shouted for him. The owner of the voice had his orders though. He had to obey. Regulus gulped the water.

He found himself drowning. Pulled down by the cold clammy hands. He reached for the light above the water. Needing air. Needing to speak apologies that would mean nothing. He was scared.

He was sure.

Past the panic and the fear, he was sure. The weakest of smiles graced his lips.

He was a marked man. Alone, uncared for and forgotten. He had nothing but he felt comfort. He found his solace and, after years of unending noise, the screams were silenced. This was his reality. This reality was a nightmare, but his nightmares weren’t reality. Somehow they’d remained only nightmares.

An old promise, made just before the rain, had been kept. He hadn’t allowed his nightmares to become reality.

“Thank you,” he managed to gurgle before he was finally taken. He was drowned by cold, clammy hands. Alone. In darkness. Sure.

* * *

_“Sirius?” Sirius blinked into semi-wakefulness at his younger brother’s voice._

_“What do you want Reg? I was sleeping.”_

_“I had a nightmare.” A weak voice. A voice meant only for his brother. Sirius looked over to his brother, looking tiny in the doorway. Somewhere in the Black Mansion their parents slept on, unaware of these goings on. Unaware they’re amazing son was seeking comfort in the waste of space that was their firstborn._

_Sirius lifted the cover to invite his brother into bed._

_Regulus climbed in beside him without a thought._

_“Tell me about it.”_

_“…”_

_“It was only a nightmare. Tell me about it.”_

_“I became just what they wanted,” was the quiet reply, “I fought. I killed. I allowed people to die and I didn’t stop it. I didn’t do anything. I watched and I hurt them. I’m a monster.”_

_“You’re not a monster Reg. We’re trapped by the monsters but we won’t let them change us. Trust me Reg, you’re far from a monster.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise. No monster would come crawl into bed with me.”_

_“I’m scared Sirius.”_

_“There’s nothing wrong with being scared. Only fools aren’t scared and only cowards can’t admit when they are.”_

_“What if…what if it does happen?”_

_“If your nightmares happen?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I’ll wake you up. I’m always going to be here for you. Even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.”_

_“Always?”_

_“Nothing could keep me away.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_The two boys slept together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Regulus didn’t have any more nightmares. Not with Sirius’ arms wrapped around him so protectively. Not while Sirius was there to mumble stories to him as he fell asleep._

* * *

As Regulus drowned Sirius woke up with a jolt. His room was dark and quiet. Nothing had woken him. He felt lost. Alone. He didn’t know why. He rolled over and forced himself back into a fitful sleep.

That night was the start of the end. After that his life fell away from him. Disaster and darkness.

His life became worse than any nightmare.

He should know. When he slept he had nothing but nightmares.

He had nothing.

There was nothing left for him to be sure of.


End file.
